Intimacy, Romantic Love and Sexuality
"The
Dance of the Couple"
by
Joan
Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D.
A Half Day Workshop
New Center for Psychoanalysis (NCP
Saturday,
February 17, 2018
Continuing
Education for Mental Health Professionals
What
is this thing called love? Did Freud, Keats, Shelley now?. This
workshop explores healthy romantic love, intimacy and how with people with
personality disorders (narcissist, borderline) can destroy the capacity to
maintain an intimate relationship. It offers specific approaches
and techniques to explain the psychodynamics couples who start out with a loving
relationships but lurking in the shadows are unconscious elements that seek to
destroy. It also explores how and why couples stay in painful, conflictual,
destructive, never ending, relationships (traumatic bonding) or what I describe
in my previous books as “the dance” (how one partner projects a negative
feeling onto the other and how the other then identifies or over-identifies
with it). As many of you know this work is based on my
first book, The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple, how a narcissist hooks up with
a borderline and how each one stirs up in the other some unresolved
developmental part of the self. Much has been written about narcissism,
addressing the theoretical aspects, the psychodynamics, defence mechanisms, but
few have addressed how to “talk” to a narcissist. Subsequently, I wrote “How to
Talk to a Borderline,” which I will reference to in this work shop. Based on many years of research, numerous articles
and books treating people with narcissistic and borderline personality disorder
I expanded my work to describe eight different kinds of narcissists and eight
different kinds of borderlines. Even though this workshop focuses mainly on
narcissism, the narcissistic does not live in a vacuum. The grandiose self
seeps over into many other personality disorders.
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