INTIMACY, ROMANTIC LOVE AND SEXUALITY
“The
Dance of the Couple”
Presenter:
Joan J. Lachkar, Ph.D.
Co-Presenter:
Richard Seigle, M.D.
Intimacy,
Romantic and Sexuality
The
“Dance of the Couple”
Saturday,
February 17 , 2018, 8:30 AM-12:30 PM
Joan
Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D.
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D. is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist in private practice
in Sherman Oaks, California, an affiliate member for the New Center for
Psychoanalysis, is the author of The Narcissistic/Borderline
Couple: Psychoanalytic Perspective on Marital Treatment, The
Many Faces of Abuse: Treating the Emotional Abuse of High-Functioning
Women, The V-Spot, How to Talk to a Narcissist, How
to Talk to a Borderline, and the Disappearing Male, and New Approach to
Marital Therapy. Courts Beware of the Borderline. This workshop is based on Dr. Lachkar's twenty-five years of clinical
experience including groundbreaking articles and books on couple’s therapy and
many theoretical perspectives including classical psychoanalysis,
self-psychology, ego psychology, objective relations, attachment theory, and
contemporary theorists.
.
Welcome
to Intimacy, Romantic Love and Sexuality!
This workshop draws
from many theoretical perspectives including classical psychoanalysis,
self-psychology, ego psychology, object relations, attachment theory, and more
contemporary theorists, this workshop introduces two languages: The
"Language of Empathology" and the "Language of Dialectics,"
both abstracted from the analytic literature to make communication more “user
friendly.” I also introduce my new innovative concept of the "V-spot"
vulnerability which lies at the very core of the human spirit let alone the
capacity to love. This presentation is
suitable for all mental health professionals ranging from the least experienced
to the most seasoned and has applicability to all kinds of couples including
cross-cultural. Hope you are all of age to deal with our X rated material later
in the workshop.
We
will also have an opportunity for cases and role play.
Introduction
COURSE OBJECTIVES
·
To recognize and distinguish normal Intimacy and
romantic love from pathological love
·
To communicate using the special
language of empathology and dialectics (abstracted from works of Kohut and
Bion).
·
To integrate the various theoretical
approaches into romantic relations
·
To help
understand how primitive defences and personality disorders can destroy the
capacity to maintain intimacy and romantic love
·
To help understand the
couples’ mutual projections, how each one tens to identify or over-identity
with the negative projections of the other.
Today
people are obsessed talking about their relationships. In fact, they are so
busy talking about them; they hardly have the time to have them. The capacity
to fall in love is a basic human experience, and when people fall in love it is
felt to be magical and we all look for the mysterious power of love.
Relationships are not simple for they are comprised of many complex and
interrelated aspects of idealization, entitlement, love, shame, guilt, envy,
jealousy, hatred, aggression, rivalry, control, domination, and many unresolved
oedipal issues, as well as many early unresolved infantile conflicts. When we talk about marital conflict we are
talking about a kind of love that goes in the wrong direction, primitive
idealization that invades and infects the capacity to maintain a healthy loving
relationship.
In
this workshop, we will refer to traditional roles between a man and a woman
with the awareness and appreciation that there are many same sex relationships
with varying roles of masculine and feminine personas. Male gender types
commonly encompass roles such as male domination, control, power, thinking with
less feelings, more doing and sex. The
feminine side encompasses such roles as compassion, feelings, relatedness, and
expectations for intimacy and romance. These roles are not clear and concise
for they tend to be in each of us on a continuum.
In
same sex relationships there is more emphasis on equality between the sexes
even though one partner may have more masculine traits and the other more
feminine attributes. We must listen to
our patients and be open to the blurring of traditional masculine and feminine
roles if we are to stay relevant. For example, sexuality or romance means
different things to different people. Traditionally, when a man says he wants
more romance, he may be referring to sex or his sexuality. When a woman asks for more romance, she may
want more thoughtfulness, attention, and flowers. If men come home to a candlelight dinner,
they start to think about moving to the bedroom.
