Monday, January 22, 2018

INTIMACY, ROMANTIC LOVE AND SEXUALITY “The Dance of the Couple”


INTIMACY, ROMANTIC LOVE AND SEXUALITY
            “The Dance of the Couple”
Presenter: Joan J. Lachkar, Ph.D.
Co-Presenter: Richard Seigle, M.D.
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Intimacy, Romantic and Sexuality
The “Dance of the Couple”
Saturday, February 17 , 2018, 8:30 AM-12:30 PM
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D.


Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D. is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist in private practice in Sherman Oaks, California, an affiliate member for the New Center for Psychoanalysis, is the author of The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple:  Psychoanalytic Perspective on Marital Treatment, The Many Faces of Abuse: Treating the Emotional Abuse of High-Functioning Women, The V-Spot, How to Talk to a NarcissistHow to Talk to a Borderline, and the Disappearing Male, and New Approach to Marital Therapy. Courts Beware of the Borderline. This workshop is based on Dr. Lachkar's twenty-five years of clinical experience including groundbreaking articles and books on couple’s therapy and many theoretical perspectives including classical psychoanalysis, self-psychology, ego psychology, objective relations, attachment theory, and contemporary theorists.
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Welcome to Intimacy, Romantic Love and Sexuality!

This workshop draws from many theoretical perspectives including classical psychoanalysis, self-psychology, ego psychology, object relations, attachment theory, and more contemporary theorists, this workshop introduces two languages: The "Language of Empathology" and the "Language of Dialectics," both abstracted from the analytic literature to make communication more “user friendly.” I also introduce my new innovative concept of the "V-spot" vulnerability which lies at the very core of the human spirit let alone the capacity to love.  This presentation is suitable for all mental health professionals ranging from the least experienced to the most seasoned and has applicability to all kinds of couples including cross-cultural. Hope you are all of age to deal with our X rated material later in the workshop. We will also have an opportunity for cases and role play.


Introduction
Course Objectives
COURSE OBJECTIVES
·        To recognize and distinguish normal Intimacy and romantic love from pathological love
·      To communicate using the special language of empathology and dialectics (abstracted from works of Kohut and Bion).
·      To integrate the various theoretical approaches into romantic relations
·        To help understand how primitive defences and personality disorders can destroy the capacity to maintain intimacy and romantic love
·        To help understand the couples’ mutual projections, how each one tens to identify or over-identity with the negative projections of the other.
Today people are obsessed talking about their relationships. In fact, they are so busy talking about them; they hardly have the time to have them. The capacity to fall in love is a basic human experience, and when people fall in love it is felt to be magical and we all look for the mysterious power of love. Relationships are not simple for they are comprised of many complex and interrelated aspects of idealization, entitlement, love, shame, guilt, envy, jealousy, hatred, aggression, rivalry, control, domination, and many unresolved oedipal issues, as well as many early unresolved infantile conflicts.  When we talk about marital conflict we are talking about a kind of love that goes in the wrong direction, primitive idealization that invades and infects the capacity to maintain a healthy loving relationship.
In this workshop, we will refer to traditional roles between a man and a woman with the awareness and appreciation that there are many same sex relationships with varying roles of masculine and feminine personas. Male gender types commonly encompass roles such as male domination, control, power, thinking with less feelings, more doing and sex.  The feminine side encompasses such roles as compassion, feelings, relatedness, and expectations for intimacy and romance. These roles are not clear and concise for they tend to be in each of us on a continuum.

In same sex relationships there is more emphasis on equality between the sexes even though one partner may have more masculine traits and the other more feminine attributes.  We must listen to our patients and be open to the blurring of traditional masculine and feminine roles if we are to stay relevant. For example, sexuality or romance means different things to different people. Traditionally, when a man says he wants more romance, he may be referring to sex or his sexuality.  When a woman asks for more romance, she may want more thoughtfulness, attention, and flowers.  If men come home to a candlelight dinner, they start to think about moving to the bedroom.


Friday, January 12, 2018

Intimacy, Romantic Love and Sexuality Workshop Feb. 17, 2018 West LA



Intimacy, Romantic Love and Sexuality
"The Dance of the Couple"

Four books by Joan Lachkar Ph.D.
by
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D.

A Half Day Workshop
New Center for Psychoanalysis (NCP
Saturday, February 17, 2018
Continuing Education for Mental Health Professionals

What is this thing called love? Did Freud, Keats, Shelley now?. This workshop explores healthy romantic love, intimacy and how with people with personality disorders (narcissist, borderline) can destroy the capacity to maintain an intimate relationship. It offers specific approaches and techniques to explain the psychodynamics couples who start out with a loving relationships but lurking in the shadows are unconscious elements that seek to destroy. It also explores how and why couples stay in painful, conflictual, destructive, never ending, relationships (traumatic bonding) or what I describe in my previous books as “the dance” (how one partner projects a negative feeling onto the other and how the other then identifies or over-identifies with it). As many of you know this work is based on my first book, The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple, how a narcissist hooks up with a borderline and how each one stirs up in the other some unresolved developmental part of the self. Much has been written about narcissism, addressing the theoretical aspects, the psychodynamics, defence mechanisms, but few have addressed how to “talk” to a narcissist. Subsequently, I wrote “How to Talk to a Borderline,” which I will reference to in this work shop. Based on many years of research, numerous articles and books treating people with narcissistic and borderline personality disorder I expanded my work to describe eight different kinds of narcissists and eight different kinds of borderlines. Even though this workshop focuses mainly on narcissism, the narcissistic does not live in a vacuum. The grandiose self seeps over into many other personality disorders. 

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Romantic Love, Intimacy and Sexuality "The Dance of the Couple"

Workshop for Couples

On-Going Couples Workshop
Romantic Love, Intimacy and Sexuality
"The Dance of the Couple"


A Couples Workshop (individuals welcome)
"Romantic Love" is the single greatest energy system in the Western psyche. In our culture it is the arena in which men and women seek meaning, transcendence, wholeness and ecstasy.”  Robert A. Johnson, We (p. xi)

The “Dance of the Couple”
Saturday, October 7, 2017, 8:30 AM-12:30 PM
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D. and Richard Seigle, M.D.
$100 Dollars per Couple ($50.00 FOR SINGLE)

This workshop explores healthy romantic love and intimacy and how living with people with personality disorders (narcissist, borderline) can destroy its capacity. It offers specific approaches and techniques to explain the psychodynamics of the couple. It also explores how and why couples stay in painful, conflictual, destructive, never ending, relationships, traumatic bonding or what Dr. Lachkar refers to as “The Dance” (how one partner projects a negative feeling onto the other and how the other then identifies or over-identifies with it). This workshop is based on numerous articles and books on treatment of the narcissistic personality disorder particularly as it affects interpersonal love relations. Even though this workshop focuses mainly on narcissism, the narcissistic does not live alone but overlaps with many other personality disorders. Much has been written about narcissism, addressing not only its theoretical aspects, the psychodynamics and defense mechanisms within the spectrum of various kinds of narcissists. But few have addressed how to actually communicate with one and how their defenses destroy the capacity to maintain an intimate loving relationship.
This workshop is suitable for couples or half couples willing to explore aspects of intimacy, communication, and mindfulness. We then explore common complaints that create conflict in couples and their resolution.

Dr. Jutta Lachkar is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist in private practice in Sherman Oaks, California, an affiliate member for the New Center for Psychoanalysis, is the author of such ground breaking books as The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple:  Psychoanalytic Perspective on MaritalTreatment, How to Talk to a NarcissistHow to Talk to a Borderline, Courts Beware of the Borderline  and the Disappearing Male. This workshop is based on Dr. Lachkar's twenty-five years of clinical experience and many theoretical perspectives including classical psychoanalysis, self-psychology, ego psychology, objective relations, attachment theory, and contemporary theorists.
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D. is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist in private practice in Sherman Oaks, California, is an affiliate member for the New Center for Psychoanalysis, is the author of such ground breaking books as, The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple:  Psychoanalytic Perspective on Marital Treatment, How to Talk to a NarcissistHow to Talk to a Borderline: Common Complaints that Bring Couples in Treatment, Treating the Emotional Abuse of High-Functioning Women, The V-Spot, The Disappearing Male, and Courts Beware of the Borderline: Implications for Mediation (in process). Dr. Lachkar is also a psychohistorian has published numerous papers and articles on marital and political conflict in addition as a classically trained ballet dancer and performer treats many individuals in the entertainment industry. www.joanlachkarphd.com

Richard Seigle, M.D., has worked with individuals and couples for over 40 years.  His background includes physical, spiritual and psychological modalities.  

For Further Information Please Contact:
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D.
818 290 3390 (office)
310 413 9593 (cell)
Romantic Love, Intimacy and Sexuality
The Dance of the Couple
Workshop Schedule  
Saturday, October 7, 2017
8:00 - 8:25                    Registration and Continental Breakfast
8:30 - 9:00                    Welcome and Introductory Comments
                                    Ground Rules / Group Introductions
9:00 - 10:15                 Defining Couple Therapy          
                                    Defining the Narcissist His/her Majesty the Narcissist
Different Types of Narcissist (Pathological, Malignant, Antisocial, Depressive, OCD, Passive-Aggressive (The “Poor Me” Victim, the Artist, the Cross-Cultural)      
10:15 - 10:30                Coffee Break
10:30 - 12:00                The Dance, the Bond and the Drama of the Couple
Why People Stay Bonded to Painful Relationships
·        Psychodynamics of the Couple (shame vs. guilt, envy vs. jealousy etc.)
·        Communication Techniques –
·        Language of Empathology
·        How to Listen (or not listen)
·        Case/Role Play/Group Exercise           
12:00-12-30                  Tavistock Method/Closing Thoughts


Monday, June 26, 2017

A Couples Workshop(Love, Intimacy and Romantic Love

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On-Going Couples Group

Romantic Love is the single greatest energy system in the Western psyche. In our culture,…it is the arena in which men and women seek meaning, transcendence, wholeness and ecstasy.”  Robert A. Johnson, We (p. xi)

The “Dance of the Couple”

A Couples Workshop (individuals welcome) Sherman Oaks
Saturday, July 15, 2017, 8:30 AM-12:30 PM
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D. and Richard Seigle, M.D.

This workshop explores healthy romantic love and intimacy and how living with people with personality disorders (narcissist, borderline) can destroy its capacity. It offers specific approaches and techniques to explain the psychodynamics of the couple. It also explores how and why couples stay in painful, conflictual, destructive, never ending, relationships, traumatic bonding or what Dr. Lachkar refers to as “The Dance” (how one partner projects a negative feeling onto the other and how the other then identifies or over-identifies with it). This workshop is based on numerous articles and books on treatment of the narcissistic personality disorder particularly as it affects interpersonal love relations. Even though this workshop focuses mainly on narcissism, the narcissistic does not live alone but overlaps with many other personality disorders. Much has been written about narcissism, addressing not only its theoretical aspects, the psychodynamics and defense mechanisms within the spectrum of various kinds of narcissists. But few have addressed how to actually communicate with one and how their defenses destroy the capacity to maintain an intimate loving relationship.
This workshop is suitable for couples or half couples willing to explore aspects of intimacy, communication, and mindfulness. We then explore common complaints that create conflict in couples and their resolution.

Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D. is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist in private practice in Sherman Oaks, California, an affiliate member for the New Center for Psychoanalysis, is the author of The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple:  Psychoanalytic Perspective on Marital Treatment, The Many Faces of Abuse: Treating the Emotional Abuse of High-Functioning Women, The V-Spot, How to Talk to a Narcissist,  How to Talk to a Borderline, and the Disappearing Male, and New Approach to Marital Therapy. The most recent publication in process is Courts Beware of the Borderline: Implication  for Mediation.  This workshop is based on Dr. Lachkar's twenty-five years of clinical experience including groundbreaking articles and books on couple’s therapy incorporating many theoretical perspectives including classical psychoanalysis, self-psychology, ego psychology, objective relations, attachment theory, and contemporary theorists.

Richard Seigle, M.D., has worked with individuals and couples for over 40 years.  His background includes physical, spiritual and psychological modalities.  Currently, Richard lives mindfully in Joshua Tree, CA.
$100.00 per couple, $50.00 per single
Name__________________________________________________________________________

Address______________________________________­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­__________________________________

City________________________­­­­­­­­­­­­­­__________­_________State_________Zip_________________

Email: _______________________________________Phone____________________________­_

Credit Card/Check/Money Order made out to Joan Lachkar, Ph.D.
Credit Card (M/C, Visa, Amer. Exp) #__________________________________________
Exp. Date___________________________Code__________

 For Further Information Please contact:
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D.
818 290 3390 (office)
310 413 9593 (cell)
INTIMACY AND ROMANTIC LOVE 
The Dance of the Couple

Workshop Schedule.  
Saturday,July 15,
 2017
8:00 - 8:25                    Registration and Continental Breakfast
8:30 - 9:00                    Welcome and Introductory Comments
                                    Ground Rules / Group Introductions
9:00 - 10:15                  Defining Couple Therapy          
                                    Defining the Narcissist His/Her Majesty the Narcissist
Different Types of Narcissist (Pathological, Malignant, Antisocial, Depressive, OCD, Passive-Aggressive (The “Poor Me” Victim, The Artist, the Cross-Cultural)      
10:15 - 10:30                Coffee Break
10:30 - 12:00                The Dance, the Bond and the Drama of the Couple
Why People Stay Bonded to Painful Relationships
                                    Psychodynamics of the Couple (shame vs. guilt, envy vs. jealousy etc.)
                                    Communication Techniques –
Language of Empathology
How to Listen (or not listen)
Case/Role Play/Group Exercise           
12:00-12-30                  Tavistock Method/Closing Thoughts
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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

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INTIMACY, ROMANTIC LOVE AND SEXUALITY
Couples Workshop

Romantic Love is the single greatest energy system in the Western psyche. In our culture,…it is the arena in which men and women seek meaning, transcendence, wholeness and ecstasy.”  Robert A. Johnson, We (p. xi)

The “Dance of the Couple”

A Couples Workshop (individuals welcome) Sherman Oaks
Saturday, July 1st, 2017, 8:30 AM-12:30 PM
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D. and Richard Seigle, M.D.

This workshop explores healthy romantic love and intimacy and how living with people with personality disorders (narcissist, borderline) can destroy its capacity. It offers specific approaches and techniques to explain the psychodynamics of the couple. It also explores how and why couples stay in painful, conflictual, destructive, never ending, relationships, traumatic bonding or what Dr. Lachkar refers to as “The Dance” (how one partner projects a negative feeling onto the other and how the other then identifies or over-identifies with it). This workshop is based on numerous articles and books on treatment of the narcissistic personality disorder particularly as it affects interpersonal love relations. Even though this workshop focuses mainly on narcissism, the narcissistic does not live alone but overlaps with many other personality disorders. Much has been written about narcissism, addressing not only its theoretical aspects, the psychodynamics and defense mechanisms within the spectrum of various kinds of narcissists. But few have addressed how to actually communicate with one and how their defenses destroy the capacity to maintain an intimate loving relationship. This workshop is suitable for couples or half couples willing to explore aspects of intimacy, communication, and mindfulness. We then explore common complaints that create conflict in couples and their resolution.

Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D. is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist in private practice in Sherman Oaks, California, an affiliate member for the New Center for Psychoanalysis, is the author of The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple:  Psychoanalytic Perspective on Marital Treatment, The Many Faces of Abuse: Treating the Emotional Abuse of High-Functioning Women, The V-Spot, How to Talk to a Narcissist,  How to Talk to a Borderline, and the Disappearing Male, and New Approach to Marital Therapy. This workshop is based on Dr. Lachkar's twenty-five years of clinical experience including groundbreaking articles and books on couple’s therapy and many theoretical perspectives including classical psychoanalysis, self-psychology, ego psychology, objective relations, attachment theory, and contemporary theorists.

Richard Seigle, M.D., has worked with individuals and couples for over 40 years.  His background includes physical, spiritual and psychological modalities.  Currently, Richard lives mindfully in Joshua Tree, CA.

$100.00 per couple, $50.00 per single 
Name__________________________________________________________________________

Address______________________________________­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­__________________________________

City________________________­­­­­­­­­­­­­­__________­_________State_________Zip_________________

Email: _______________________________________Phone____________________________­_

Credit Card/Check/Money Order made out to Joan Lachkar, Ph.D.
Credit Card (M/C, Visa, Amer. Exp) #__________________________________________
Exp. Date___________________________Code__________

 For Further Information Please contact:
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D.
818 290 3390 (office)
310 413 9593 (cell)
INTIMACY, ROMANTIC LOVE AND SEXUALITY 
"The Dance of the Couple"

Workshop Schedule.  
Saturday,July 1st 2017
8:00 - 8:25                    Registration and Continental Breakfast
8:30 - 9:00                    Welcome and Introductory Comments
                                     Ground Rules / Group Introductions
9:00 - 10:15                  Defining Couple Therapy          
                                     Defining the Narcissist His/Her Majesty the Narcissist
                                     Different Types of Narcissist (Pathological, Malignant, Antisocial, Depressive, OCD,   
                                     Passive-Aggressive (The “Poor Me” Victim, The Artist, the Cross-Cultural)     
10:15 - 10:30                Coffee Break
10:30 - 12:00                The Dance, the Bond and the Drama of the Couple
Why People Stay Bonded to Painful Relationships
                                    Psychodynamics of the Couple (shame vs. guilt, envy vs. jealousy etc.)
                                    Communication Techniques –
Language of Empathology
How to Listen (or not listen)
Case/Role Play/Group Exercise           
12:00-12-30                  Tavistock Method/Closing Thoughts

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